Archive for Our Spirit

Taking Care of Mom: 5 Simple Ways to De-Stress

By admin · Comments (9)
Thursday, March 22nd, 2012

5 Simple Ways to De-StressAs a mother, it is SO easy to get caught up in the everyday chaos of life with kids. However, this doesn’t mean you have to be stressed out as you deal with the daily struggles Motherhood brings. While it might sound next to impossible, you can find ways to de-stress.

Here are 5 simple ways to de-stress.

Be Selfish:

That’s right – be selfish. I know this goes against everything mothers are “supposed” to be, but every now and then it’s okay to think of yourself. There are days when we, as mothers, get extremely overwhelmed. We’re being pulled in so many different directions. This is when it is good to take 30 minutes to an hour to yourself, for yourself – just to do whatever you want. It doesn’t matter if it’s writing in a journal, reading or taking a nap – do whatever you want. You will feel relaxed, de-stressed and able to focus after your mini-break.

Listen to Music:

Who doesn’t spend time in the car driving to and from work, or taking the kids to the various places they need to be? That’s a good time to try listening to music. It has a way of releasing the worries we have been carrying with us throughout the day. Make a CD containing a collection of your favorite “feel good” songs and keep in your car so always have uplifting music at hand. You’ll find that this CD will help your spirits on the days when everything seems to be bringing them down.

Have Quiet Time:

One of the easiest ways to calm your nerves and let go of your stress is to set aside some time each day to just sit and relax. Find the time that works best for you – early in the morning before you wake your children up for school, mid-morning or afternoon when they are at school, even right before bed has been found to work too. Regardless of when you do this, think of it as your time to clear your mind and calm your nerves – so, give it a try. It doesn’t have to be much time – as little as 20 minutes!

Pamper Yourself:

For most mothers, when they think about pampering themselves, they think it just isn’t feasible. However, what I mean is not the normal kind of “spa-treatment” most associate pampering with. The kind I’m suggesting is “home-spa” pampering. Purchase a few nicely scented candles, bath salts and new lotion. Once the kids are in bed, lock yourself in the bathroom and light the candles while you fill the tub with steaming water and watch the bath salts dissolve. Take a long (minimum of 30 minutes) bath and then apply the lotion once you’re out and dry. You will be surprised at how relaxed you will feel afterwards.

Phone a Friend:

Sometimes, life can seem unbearable and it’s just too much for us to take by ourselves. This is when it’s helpful to pick up the phone and call a friend. Another Mom, or friend who may be able to identify with what you’re going through, or could offer an objective view. We all have days when we just need to vent. However, it isn’t good to vent to our children and, sometimes, our spouses as well – they don’t always understand or make things worse by trying to “fix it.” Pick up the phone and call a friend. Tell her what’s going on and that you’re just venting. You’ll feel much better once you are done and your stress level will be lower too.

These 5 simple ways should help you, as a mom, escape Motherhood and all its stressors, at least for a little while. It’s important, as Moms, that we each take time to focus on ourselves, and de-stress to make us more relaxed as we face the day-to-day struggles and challenges that life with kids brings. Reach out, or look inward – find those simple ways to help you de-stress, and you will be a better Mom for it.

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Positive Self Talk: Re-Program Your Mind

By Val · Comments (0)
Wednesday, June 8th, 2011

Affirmations are essentially positive statements that re-program your mind for the positive. This positive self-talk is easier to implement than you might think. The moment you have a self-defeating thought, counter the negative with a motivating statement. An example of a positive affirmation is: “I am worthy of great success,” or “I see myself in the winner’s circle.” What this does is replace negativity with thoughts that will help you move toward your goals instead of further away from them.

You may not be aware of the severity of the negative dialogue currently within your mind. However, once you begin with positive self-talk, you will suddenly realize that you are self-sabotaging the goals you set for yourself from the minute that you make them. This process can make you aware of exactly how much that inner conversation has been interfering with your life. You’ll start believing that you can now set goals and surpass them.

Through positive self-talk you will be able easily set long and short-term goals for yourself. And when you use affirmations, you’ll have those tools accessible to help you push yourself further than ever before. Learning to quiet negativity and re-program your mind with positive thoughts is a great move toward setting and attaining future goals with ease.

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Positive Self Talk: The Powers of Attitude

By Val · Comments (0)
Thursday, July 1st, 2010

Here’s a question. When you enter a party filled with friends, do they all fall silent as if something terrible had happened? Or does everybody there perk up as if waiting for something exciting to happen?

You know what? The answer to all these depends on your frame of mind.

Thoughts are very powerful. They affect your general attitude. The attitude you carry reflects on your appearance, too – unless, of course, you are a great actor. And it doesn’t end there. Your attitude can also affect people around you. The type of attitude you carry depends on you. It can be either positive or negative.

Positive thoughts have a filling effect. They are admittedly invigorating. Plus, the people around the person carrying positive thoughts are usually energized by this type of attitude. A positive attitude attracts people.

Negative thoughts on the other hand have a sapping effect on other people. Aside from making you look gloomy and sad, negative thoughts can turn a festive gathering into a funeral wake. A negative attitude repels them. People tend to shy away from those who carry a negative attitude.

We can also define attitude as the way of looking at the world. If you choose to focus on the negative things in the world, more or less you have a negative attitude brewing up. However, if you choose to focus on the positive things, you are more likely carry a positive attitude.

You have much to gain from a very positive attitude. For one, studies have shown that a positive attitude promotes better health. Those with this kind of attitude also have more friends. projecting a positive attitude also helps one to handle stress and problems better than those who have a negative attitude.

A positive attitude begins with a healthy self-image. If you love the way you are and are satisfied, confident, and self-assured, you also make others are around feel the same way.

A negative attitude, on the other hand, has, of course, an opposite effect. So, carrying a negative attitude has a twofold drawback. You feel bad about yourself, and you make others feel the same way.

If you want a healthier outlook in life, you need to think happy thoughts, and you have to hear positive things as well. So, what can you do? Well, for starters, you could see a funny movie, you could play with children, spend some time telling jokes with friends. All these activities fill you with positive stimuli, which in turn promotes positive attitude. Focus on the good things, the positive things in life.

This positive attitude you now carry can be of benefit to other people. Sometimes when other people feel down, the thing people mostly do is try to give them advice. But sometimes, all they need is somebody to sit by them, and listen to them. If you have a positive attitude you may be able to cheer them up without even having to say anything.

As always, if you are beset by troubles, even in your darkest hour, focus on the good things in life, you will always have hope. Problems become something you can overcome. Your positive attitude helps you see through the dark to that light at the end.

You do not have much to lose by adopting a healthy, positive attitude. Studies show that such an attitude actually slows aging, makes you healthier, helps you develop a better stress coping mechanism, and has a very positive effect on all the people you meet every day. So, what’s not to like about a positive attitude? Adopt one today.

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Positive Self Talk: Sticking to Your Goals

By Val · Comments (0)
Friday, February 26th, 2010

Do you feel like you are always talking yourself out of success? As soon as you start to set goals for yourself, do you suddenly have nagging thoughts about how you aren’t up to the task or how you simply aren’t qualified to carry it through?

If you have ever experienced either situation, you need to change the way you respond to your inner dialogue. Instead of obeying your negative commands, you can use positive self-talk to counter the negativity and overcome nearly all anxious thoughts.

Are you initially filled with excitement when you first set goals for yourself? Are these thoughts then followed by self-doubt and self-defeating thoughts that stop you in your tracks before you even get started?

It can be difficult to make the most of your life when you are constantly talking yourself out of being a success. It can be frustrating and discouraging to have these thoughts constantly plaguing you. Many of us, in fact, don’t even realize we have them! All we know is that we don’t have the confidence to stick to our plans and reach our goals.

But there’s another way!

Positive self-talk is an effective way to set goals and ensure that you stick to them, even if you have never been able to do this before. The way this works is that you decide what goal is important to you, and then you plan the logistics of how you are going to attain this goal. When self-doubt starts kicking in, you will respond with affirmations that prove your success without surrendering to the negative pressure. Since you’re reading this article, it’s clear that you’re no quitter and you’re certainly not a failure, so start believing in yourself!

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Your Resolution and Sticking with It

By Val · Comments (0)
Tuesday, December 29th, 2009

What’s Your Resolution and Sticking with It
Guest Post by Jen Malik

Man, if I had a dime for every resolution I made throughout the years. Or if I lost a pound for every resolution I’d ever made. Hehehe. Seriously, as I get older, choosing the right resolution and sticking with it, starts to get a bit easier. I’m never going to be a size 0 again and my chance at being a billionaire is likely over, so why not simply work toward a realistic happier, healthier life, right? That’s exactly what I plan to do for 2010.

If you’re making a resolution for the New Year, here are 10 tips for keeping it:

- Find a support system. This is crucial to any type of change in your life. Having someone who will keep you accountable and encourage you when you miss the mark is one way to stop you from quitting altogether. Rely on family, friends and coworkers to give you that swift kick when you need it.

- Use online tools. These are popping up everywhere, especially for weight loss resolutions. Many of the online tools are free to use. Sites like SparkPeople offer informative articles, message boards, meal planners, video resources and online food diaries to keep you going from day one.

- Write it down. Some people only verbalize their resolutions. The problem with that is you can forget what you said after the first week. It is scary but putting your resolutions on paper makes them real to you. It is a commitment that is needed if you want to succeed.

- Be specific. Writing down phrases like “Become more assertive” can mean anything. Where do you want to be more assertive and with whom? Instead, record something like “Go to my boss and ask for a raise this year.”

- Start with small steps. No one gets from A to Z in one step. Those who try are often disappointed. If this is a weight loss goal, begin with starting an exercise program. If you haven’t worked out in a while, this single piece of a larger goal will take some time to establish. Goals that involve cleaning up your entire home can begin with one room and then move onto to the others. Tackling a smaller step successfully fuels your drive to continue.

- See the big picture. This approach helps when you are feeling discouraged by disappointment. Don’t lose sight of your ultimate goal or resolution. It is still attainable even with a few setbacks. You’ll have more to rejoice about later.

- Visualize. See yourself completing your goal. In fact, see yourself completing each step of the journey. Thinking about skipping your workout session today? Visualize yourself in the class and, though tired, you make it through to the end with energy. The mind is a powerful tool that can help or hinder you. And hey, if you’re mind isn’t powerful enough, post pics of what you’d like right on your refrigerator. A trip to Hawaii? A slimmer you? Put it up and see it every day.

- Set a deadline. Open ended resolutions can go on forever. Give yourself a concrete time frame to keep from floundering in your goal.

- Resist comparing yourself with others. Someone else may have the same resolution. They also may seem to be getting farther in their goals than you. Resist the urge to compare yourself and end up discouraged. Each person is different and you don’t know what support system or other goal achieving tools they are using. Be happy for them and even ask how they are doing it so well.

- Abandon bad resolutions. There comes a time when some of your resolutions may have to meet the trash heap. It could have been a faulty resolution that wasn’t thought out well in the first place. It doesn’t mean failure. On the contrary, it could be just what you need to help you accomplish the ones that are manageable.

Overall, don’t beat yourself up. We all falter here and there. The important thing is to get back on track. So spill it…what’s your New Years Resolution?

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What is Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)?

By Val · Comments (0)
Wednesday, December 2nd, 2009

We have always heard that the holidays are hard on some people. In fact, the incidence of suicide and depression increase during the holiday season. It could be physiological. Find out more about seasonal affective disorder.

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is a subgroup of depression that involves a person suffering from depressive symptoms at a certain time of year. Usually, the depression occurs during the fall and winter. For some unknown reason, people begin to experience depression.

People suffering from seasonal affective disorder chalk it all up to the shorter days and longer nights. We underestimate the effect that lack of sunlight has on us. When the winter season passes, so does the depression and they get back to a normal life without ever realizing that they were depressed in the first place.

The problem is that seasonal affective disorder can be so severe that suicide is one possible outcome. Other symptoms include: overeating, depression, anxiety, weight gain, feelings of helplessness and hopelessness, lack of concentration, and lethargy. Some of the symptoms build on each other. For instance, overeating can be caused by depression. As a result of the weight gain, the sufferer spins out of control into helplessness and anxiety.

On top of all this, there is a condition called reverse seasonal affective disorder. Instead of experiencing depressive symptoms during the fall and winter, it is experienced during the spring and summer. The symptoms are opposite to those experienced in the latter part of the year.

One theory about seasonal affective disorder is that the lack of proper sunlight contributes to the condition. Like I said before, we underestimate how much we need natural sunlight. Sunlight brightens the mood. We get a boost from spending even fifteen minutes in the sun each day.

During the winter months, the days are shorter. Fewer sunlit days due to the weather patterns makes us want to stay in. Some people are “bummed” when the weather is not sunny all the time.

In an effort to reduce the symptoms of seasonal affective disorder, clinicians are trying several techniques, one of which is light therapy. Anti-depressive medications are often prescribed to lessen the symptoms of seasonal affective disorder. Psychologists use psychotherapy to try and use positive reinforcement to change thought patterns.

If you feel that you display any of the symptoms and signs of seasonal affective disorder, see a physician as soon as possible. It could be nothing or something quite important. Have you or anyone else noticed a marked change in your behavior at certain times of the year for several years? People with a relative diagnosed with seasonal affective disorder are more likely to be affected by it as well.

In either case, the help of a strong support system assists with handling the condition. No one wants to feel bad and without hope. Lean on those around you to fight this disorder.

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5 Ways to Make ME Time

By Val · Comments (2)
Friday, May 29th, 2009

fiveforfriday Earlier this week, I posted about how I made ME-time over our long three day weekend. That’s right, I made the time, and while it may not seem like much, sometimes you have to make it, and take it when you can.

It is with much excitement that I kick off our new 5 for Friday series with this all-important installment.

5 ways you too can make some Mom-ME time for yourself.

  1. Don’t over-commit. There is nothing wrong with putting yourself first on occasion. You can’t help everyone no matter how hard you try. You need time for yourself. Don’t make excuses for it or rationalize it, just say “No, sorry I can’t”.
  2. Create a relaxation readybag. This could be a totebag with a book, your knitting, your ipod or headphones in it. Whatever will work at a moment’s notice, to help you relax when that unexpected “free time” arises.
  3. Lock the door behind you. In the bedroom, or the bathroom, even if it’s to grab 3 minutes (okay 30 seconds) of privacy. Think about it though, that may be your only line of defense, but it could also be your last. (This works better with slightly older kids who have an understanding of privacy)
  4. Delegate. If the kids are in the backyard, or in my case, the basement with Dad, make sure he knows he’s in charge, and you disappear. Older children can watch over younger ones for 15 minutes while you do whatever you do for your Mom-ME time.
  5. Schedule your ME time. Look at the week ahead, and pencil in a time slot for yourself. Seeing it listed in your planner will help you remember to make that time, just like you would for anything else written in there ie. doctor appointment, child’s playdate.

You can find the time if you look for it, but then you have to take it, and make it your ME time. Give yourself permission to relax. Go on, you deserve it!

Moms! I’d love to hear some of the things you do to make your ME time. Please leave your comments. Lets see how many different ME time making tactics are out there, and add to the list!

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How I made ME time

By Val · Comments (4)
Tuesday, May 26th, 2009

Coming off a long 3-day weekend, and happy for the quality family time we got, all awake and home at the same time – no obligations except Hubby’s usual shift Saturday night. One thing I took advantage of was time the boys got to spend with Dad. The Father/Son outing we had planned for yesterday was cancelled due to rain – thus so did all of the plans I had for those 3 hours I was going to have all to myself.

Not to worry, I found a way to make me-time anyway! I made sure Dad knew he was in charge, and quietly slipped upstairs, and locked the bedroom door behind me – my 2nd line of defense after Dad. Then I turned up the radio and treated myself to a long, uninterrupted shower. To some that’s not big deal, but to me it was. That time with no demands, I have to remind myself is so important!

If you’re like me, and you need that gentle nudge to remind yourself to make ME time, check back here this Friday (or subscribe to our RSS feed if you think you won’t remember this either – lol). I’m dedicating Fridays as “tips day” with a new Five for Friday series.

This week: Five Ways to Make ME Time. ;)

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Beauty Secret: Self-Care Equals Stress Relief

By Retreat Coordinator · Comments (0)
Tuesday, January 1st, 2008

How well are you taking care of yourself? What is self-care? Self-care means getting enough relaxation, staying fit, maintaining a healthy diet, having fun doing activities you enjoy and spending time with family and friends. When you take good care of yourself you feel good, look better, enjoy life and are able to tackle everyday stresses.

Self-care is not selfish, as some people may believe. In fact, if you take good care of yourself are able to take care of others much more easily. Some people find taking care of themselves difficult and believe they are being self- indulgent. Always putting others first will take its toll on your health; will lower your self-esteem and damage relationships. Here are some self-care tips.

1. Have something pleasurable planned for yourself every day. Make time for relaxing activities. Take time to spend with yourself, reading, mediating, taking a walk in nature, getting a massage or whatever pleases you.

2. Don’t get involved with trying to solve other peoples’ problems. Be supportive and listen but don’t overburden yourself.

3. Take time to cultivate relationships. Studies show that having friends and a social network helps reduce stress. Friends offer us opportunities to talk about our feelings and they provide us with feedback.

4. Take care of your health by eating foods that are good for you. A balanced diet can lift your mood, give you more energy, prevent illness and will help you feel better to cope with life’s stresses.

5. Take time for hobbies and activities. Make a list of hobbies and activities you enjoy. It might be dancing, taking your dog for a walk, playing a sport, inviting friends over for dinner, hiking etc. Set time aside to do the activities you enjoy most. You will feel better because of it and so will those around you.

6. Keep fit. Regular exercise improves the efficiency of the heart, maintains good blood circulation and lowers blood pressure. During exercise the body releases hormones, which are natural anti-depressants. Regular exercise acts as a ‘time out’ and gives your mind a break.

7. Avoid tobacco, drugs and alcohol. Alcohol and drugs give a temporary relief from stress but will decrease the body’s ability to withstand stress and will cause long-term damage to the body.

© Copyright 2005 Sheila Dicks

(NOTE: This article has been reprinted from http://www.ArticleFeedster.com with permission.)

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Candle Aromatherapy for Concentration

By Retreat Coordinator · Comments (0)
Thursday, April 12th, 2007

We all know the benefits of aromatherapy for rest and relaxation. It seems like there are tons of scents you can choose from if you want to unwind at the end of a long, hectic day. Aromatherapy works quickly and effectively because, unlike other senses, scent is directly connected to your brain. You already know aromatherapy works great to relax, why not try it when you need to concentrate? Aromatherapy can be used to turn your brain back on, perk you up, and sharpen your thought process. Imagine the work you can get done with that extra invigorating boost. I know this won’t be a surprise to you, or you didn’t really believe that it relaxed you. lol

When it comes to concentration, there are many scents to choose from. There are minty, fruity, and fresh smelling varieties. This means that you’ll be sure to find one you actually think smells good. Stick to the outdoor type scents and you will hit it. Fresh smelling, awakening scents are the way to awaken the scents. Here are just some of the options available:

* Lemon
* Mango- this can also help to improve concentration by easing symptoms of depression.
* Pine- this helps to increase energy levels as well as concentration.
* Apple- this can also give you an extra energy boost.
* Rosemary-this scent promotes relaxation and alertness at the same time.
* Peppermint- this has always been recommended to me to improve alertness for long study sessions
* Eucalyptus- this can be used to provide a slightly different scent.

If you want to use aromatherapy to help you concentrate, there are several options for helping the scent reach your nose.

* Aromatherapy candles. These are an easy and simple way to help spread your favorite invigorating scents throughout the house. They are slightly less concentrated, but they still get the job done. Just buy the scents you want and light them whenever you’re studying or just need a mental boost. Soy candles are so much better for our environment, so please check out our candle facts about burning them. Our candles are 100% soy and come in many scents. If your scent isn’t available, then please email us.
* Humidifier. Simply find the oil form of the fragrance you want, put a few drops in your room humidifier and let it work. As the water gets put into the air, the oil gets taken with. When the droplets evaporate, the room is filled with your favorite refreshing sent. They also make devices now that use water to disperse scent and clean your air at the same time. Please make sure that it is not a scent you are allergic to first.
* Rub on oil. Instead of using the oil in your humidifier, just rub it onto your chest or under your nose. It works like VapoRub by sending invigorating vapors right up to your nose. Just be careful, many of the oils can be harmful, so you’ll have to mix a few drops with a carrier oil so you don’t hurt your skin. A carrier oil can be baby oil or mineral oil. Just something to mix with.

If you want to study, concentrate more on work, or just feel energized and alert at the end of a long day, you should try one of these fantastic aromatherapy scents. It is a great way to work more in without caffeine. But make sure that you are not messing with your normal sleep patterns. We need to set normal sleep and awake patterns to be more productive.

Val Selby

Mom’s Online Retreat Coordinator

www.BusyMommaWellness.com

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